Dear Dudes--Don't Read this.

Don't read this if you are not a lady, or if you get uncomfortable talking about lady things (like menstruation and body parts and other stuff) because that's where this train is headed.

Like a good infertile Myrtle, I charted my temperature religiously for about 2 months until it nearly drove me crazy. There were a lot of shed tears over temperatures that dipped when they ought not to have dipped; Misplaced joy for 2 high temperatures in a row; Near ecstasy when my temperature got anywhere above 97.5. I say this only because for the first time in my life I have documented evidence of my last period. Let's remember that fine day, back on May 15 of this year...

Yeah. I haven't had a period since the middle of May. It's nearly September, and countless pregnancy tests have confirmed that I am not, in fact, with child. That is, until last week, when my dear Aunt Florence decided to show up, unannounced. The thing about MY Auntie Flo, is that her visits are so far apart, so sporadic, so without warning, that I rarely have the things she needs to make her visit comfortable. I also forget how much crap I have to tote around with me to keep her from acting out. (Might I suggest the Playtex Sport, btw. I generally try to stay away from schilling for Big Tampon, but, man this thing is the shizzy.)

So, it's nice to have her around, inasmuch as it means that my body managed to do something right. I don't think it's a coincidence that she showed up after switching up my diet back to low-carb (some of you may remember my stint as a semi-thin, normal sized person back in the early aught's) livin'. Maybe, just maybe, this means there's a slight possibility for getting a fetus all up in this sometime soon after all...